


One more try

by Wherethereissmoak



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Infertility, Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Thon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 23:40:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11542848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wherethereissmoak/pseuds/Wherethereissmoak
Summary: Oliver and Felicity are married and struggle with infertility. He is ready to give up, but Diggle encourages him to follow his wife's lead.





	One more try

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for infertility and pregnancy loss. Sorry this is a bit more angsty than my usual fics. But I couldn't get this out of my mind when I saw the prompt. Because I've been there.

“Can you cover for me tonight?”

Oliver needed to get home to his wife, and was in no mood to suit up as the vigilante. Diggle looked at him in concern, because it wasn’t like him or Felicity to take a night off.

“You alright? Is Felicity sick?”

“No…she’s not sick. It’s just…uh. It’s not our month again,” Oliver said softly, and Diggle slung his shoulders in understanding.  The couple had been trying for a baby for the past year, and it had not happened for them. They had struggled with both infertility and miscarriage.

“Are you okay, man? Do you want a drink before you head home?” Diggle didn’t even need to see Oliver nod before pulling out a bottle of Russian vodka and two glasses.

The two sat in silence for a while before Oliver finally spoke. “I don’t know how much longer I can take this, Diggle. Seeing Felicity hurting over and over every month. We have to put a stop to it at some point.”

“And how do you propose stopping her from hurting, Oliver?”

“I don’t know, Digg. But part of my wants to say that we will do this just one more time. Just one more round of invitro fertilization. And then if it doesn’t happen, we grieve and move on. We just can’t stay in this ‘maybe’ phase forever.”

Diggle didn’t respond for a moment – and Oliver knew his best friend was weighing his words carefully.

“Oliver, I get what you’re saying. You love Felicity. You’re hurting. She’s hurting. And you just want to fix it, but I don’t think saying that you will only do this one more time is going to help. I think it will make it worse. If you shut this door for her, she may not be able to heal. Felicity needs to be the one to come to that conclusion.”

Tears sprung to Oliver’s eyes.

“If she’s in danger, I can fight something. This I can’t fight. I don’t know what to do, Diggle.”

Diggle gave him a hug. “Just be there for her, Oliver. And she will ask for help when she’s ready.”

Oliver the man he considered his brother a sad smile. “And you’re here for me. Like always.”

“Yep, and my advice is to pick your wife up some ice cream on the way home.”

Oliver did just that, entering the apartment quietly in case Felicity had fallen asleep. Instead, he found her curled up next to the fireplace, wrapped in her favorite green throw and staring at the flames.

“Hi honey, you doing okay?”

Felicity looked up at him and gave Oliver the sweet smile that she only reserved for him. It always made his heart skip a beat. What on earth had he done to deserve this brilliant, brave and beautiful woman? She would tell him that it was because he was a good man – and he was working hard to get to the point where he believed her.

“I’ll be okay, but I have been missing my snuggle buddy.” Felicity scooched over on the couch to make room for him.

“I’ll be right there – I have to put away this ice cream John told me to buy you.” He kicked off his shoes before crossing to the freezer.

“A wise man, John Diggle. Did he make you feel any better?”

Oliver sat down next to his wife and pulled her into his arms. “Felicity…”

“It’s okay, Oliver. I know this is hard on you too. I want you to talk to John or Thea or anyone if you need to. Sometimes it’s good to talk to someone who isn’t in the trenches with you.”

“Yeah, we had a drink.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

“Do you talk to anyone about it? Other than me, I mean?”

“Yeah, I cry a lot to my mom. And Dyla and I have had a drink or two ourselves.”

Oliver twirled his wife’s hair through his fingers. “You can talk to me, too you know. I may not have all the insights another woman might, but I love you so much and I’m always here for you.”

Felicity squeezed his hand. “I know, honey.”

That sat quietly for a few minutes.

“Oliver, I know you want to be done.”

“Felicity…”

“I know that this is putting a strain on our marriage, but I want to try one more time.”

“What? It’s not putting a strain on our marriage at all!” Oliver pulled back to look at his wife, brushing away the tears that had started rolling down her cheeks. “Felicity, I’m with you every step of the way on this. You want to keep trying, we will keep trying.”

“I know it’s been hard – having sex on a schedule, or even er, you know, into a plastic cup at the clinic. Seeing me break down every time it doesn’t work. It’s been hard on me too. We need to get back to some sense of normal.”

Oliver didn’t say anything, following Diggle’s advice.

“But I have told myself that I’m going to try one more time and that’s it. Between my spinal implant, the damage done to my organs by Dahrk’s bullets and what happened on Lian Yu – it may just not happen for us. Even if I were to get pregnant again, the chance of me carrying a baby to term are unlikely. And it’s time that I accept that.”

“Honey…”

“No, it’s okay, Oliver. It’s time to grieve. It’s time to move on. Maybe someday we will look at adoption, or other options. But not now. I wouldn’t want an adopted child to feel like a consolation prize. I want to adopt because that is what we choose, not because it’s our only option. Does that make sense?”

Oliver kissed his wife gently on the lips and then her forehead.

“Makes perfect sense. And I’m here for whatever you decide.”

“Thank you for being so understanding throughout all of this. I know it’s hard because you really want to shoot an arrow in something when I’m upset.” Felicity let out a little giggle, and he knew his wife would be fine.

“Yeah, I will just go do some target practice in the bunker if I need to,” he said in his growly voice that only made his wife giggle more. “So one more time, huh?”

“Yep, I already have an appointment at the doc in a few weeks.”

He kissed his wife more passionately this time, and they lost themselves in each other for a few minutes. When he finally pulled away, both were breathless. Felicity pulled him up and toward their bedroom to finish what they started.

“You know, if you kiss me like that in the clinic – it won’t be too hard for me to fill up that plastic cup.”

Felicity laughed as she pushed him down on the bed. “I’ll see what I can do,” she said before kissing him again.

_9 and a half months later_

“Oliver Jonas Queen, so help me Google, you better hand over that baby!” Her husband hogged their son – there was no question about it.

Oliver at least had the sense to heed his wife’s words and place the newborn back in his mother’s arms. “I can’t help it, Felicity, he’s just so beautiful.”

Felicity stared down at the baby she had delivered successfully yesterday. He really was beautiful. “I think he’s going to have your dimples.”

Oliver twisted his finger in little Tommy’s brunette curl. “And your hair,” he whispered in awe.

It turned out their “one more time” had been worth it, because Felicity had not only gotten pregnant, but carried their child to term. It had gotten dicey in the last couple of months because she had to return to her wheelchair when the changes in her body put too much pressure on her spine.

But the result was this beautiful boy in her arms – so who was she to complain about sitting in that chair for a little bit? Besides, the doctors expected her to have a full recovery and be walking soon.

She stared at her child, in awe of all they had been through to bring him here. “Oliver…I meant what I said about it being our last time. I don’t want to go through that again.”

Oliver looked down at his little family with a full heart. He would offer her the moon if she asked, but he didn’t want her to think about that infertility pain right now.

“Felicity – why don’t you think about this later? When you’re not exhausted from childbirth and filled with all the emotions of the moment?”

His wife gave him a look that told him he probably should not bring up hormones at the moment, and he wisely shut his mouth.

“We will talk about it later, but I’ve been feeling this way for a while. I want you to start thinking about whether or not you want to adopt. I promised myself I wouldn’t consider it until I got to the point where I thought we should do it even if we were able to have a baby. Well we have a baby, and I still think that in a couple of years we should open our home to a child or two that needs us.”

“Or two?” Oliver stared at his wife incredulously.

“Well, yeah. We should probably see how we do with this one before we start making official plans on how many we can handle. Are you okay with that?”

Oliver thought about it for a moment. He thought about all the children who had been orphaned by the criminals of Star City. He thought about all those who had lost their parents when the Glades fell at Malcolm’s hands.

“That sounds perfect to me.”

She grinned at him, and then diverted her attention back to their son.

“I’m going to get everyone so they can come in and see him,” Oliver told her. She nodded and he leaned in to kiss his family – one more time- before leaving the room.

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to give them a happy ending, although that doesn't always happen for couples who go through infertility. Buy your friends some wine and chocolate if they are going through this - it is a sad thing and very isolating. It helps people to know they are not alone, even if they don't always feel like talking about it.


End file.
